


So many people

by JohnnyMignotta (zeroschiuma)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: AU, Chikan, Depression, Half-Sibling Incest, Light BDSM, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, Public Hand Jobs, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Roxas/everyone, Underage Sex, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-11 19:54:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2081076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeroschiuma/pseuds/JohnnyMignotta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Roxas lives on the island now. He won't kiss Axel. Riku is Sora's and Sora's only. Hayner won't answer his calls. Sora is just... Sora. Mostly, though, Roxas thinks about dad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stuck on my eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks, [Felicia](https://twitter.com/FelixiaFs) ♡, for putting up with _both_ my typos and my heavy metal on a daily basis, and without much in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 is an introduction of sorts. Yes, you read the tags, so you probably know already there will be some awfully triggering scenes. Not here, though. I only tried to introduce the most of the characters in what you're about to read. But, hey, stuff will happen. You'll see.  
> Also I don't own the Kingdom Hearts series. Pity that.  
> Enjoy! ♥

>   
> _Tell me how do you feel?_  
>  Well, I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak  
>  And they're talking it to me  
>  (Coldplay, _Talk_ ).

  


The thing with Sora is that he never shuts up. _Ever_. He's always saying something, blabbing nonsense, shouting out loud.  
He's never quiet. Roxas barely speaks.

  


*

  


Winter doesn't exist on the island. Or, rather, that's what Roxas thought.  
Now there's snow on the sand, and the sky is cloudy, and everything's cold and wet and grey.  
Roxas remembers sunny days, colorful swimsuits, and the sound of his dad's voice calling their names from the shore.  
Summer's gone now, though, and dad isn't there.  
Roxas takes off his coat. He shivers.

  


*

  


"Tell them I'll be home for dinner" Sora said. "Don't look at me like that". Roxas wasn't even listening to him. "They won't suspect a thing". He left his schoolbag behind. Then he was gone.  
It takes the whole length of _November Rain_ to get home from school. Roxas wonders if Sora even knows what _November Rain_ is. He takes the bus home, though, so it doesn't matter.  
Roxas is cold, but he sits down anyway. He presses pause and stays still.  
He thinks about dad. 

  


*

  


Riku seems to be the only one who knows how to handle Sora.  
He's not only gentle with him, and supporting, and caring; he seems outright able to sedate him. Sora's calmer when Riku is around, focused, more mature.  
The island's grateful for Riku's existence: if he hadn't been there, there wouldn't have been any island either at this point, knowing Sora.  
He's just loud, and reckless, and bold. Roxas is none of these things. On the contrary he's quiet, careful, self-conscious.  
Hayner used to be the crazy one.  
They wanted to go on holiday together. It was his idea obviously. Dad even said it was ok. That would have been the craziest thing Roxas had ever done. It never happened though.  
Roxas moved on the island. Roxas lives on the island now.

  


*

  
"Walk with me" the stranger says, "you'll warm up a bit". He has red hair and wears a leather jacket. Roxas has never seen him before. He's making a face. "You daft or something?".  
He's slim, and pale. He smiles at Roxas and suddenly it's not so cold anymore on the island. "No" Roxas manages.  
"Come along then" the stranger suggests once more: "it's fucking freezing".  
But it's really not, not anymore. For the first time since Roxas left town, the snow seems to be melting, and it hasn't rained for days, and could winter be coming to an end?  
"Don't you have anything better to do?".  
The stranger shudders. "Not really". He's still smiling when he says: "a schoolboy sitting alone on a beach in fucking March is hardly something I'd ditch to mind my own business". Roxas doesn't talk back, that's probably why he "what's your name again?" adds, although he couldn't have known.  
Riku takes care of loud, obnoxious Sora. Who takes care of the boy who wants to swim into the icy cold sea?  
He "Roxas" answers.  
And the man just grins, satisfied, and "Axel" introduces himself, offering Roxas his hand, "nice to meet you".  
He helps Roxas up, takes Sora's shoulder bag, attempts small talk, then quietly walks him home across the beach.  
Roxas completely forgets about _November Rain_.  


*

  


Mum's belly grows bigger everyday.  
She was pregnant already when Roxas moved in.  
They argue about names at dinner. Sora claims it has to be Donald for a boy or Goofy for a girl, but they all know it was all settled from the word start: it'll be Vanitas or Xion.  
Terra says both names like he loves him or her even if he hasn't met him or her yet. Mum touches her huge belly almost proudly.  
It's not like Roxas doesn't care, or like he doesn't want a little brother or sister. It's just that he's only recently started to consider _Sora_ his brother, how is he supposed to feel about all this?  
It's about time, though. Vanitas or Xion'll be there too soon for Roxas to ponder too much on the matter.

  


*

  
 _Pum. Pu-pum._ Late at night, when everyone else is sleeping, Roxas can be his true self. _Pu-pum. Pum. Pu-pum._ Alone in the dark, Roxas doesn't even exist. _Pu-pum. Pum._ Like it should fucking be.  
He sleeps under the bed most nights, so nightmares won't catch him.  


*

  


Roxas hasn't thought about the stranger called Axel for days, when he spots him again on his way home.  
He's wearing combat boots and yet another leather coat; his hair's always disturbingly red and he smiles at Roxas again, but it's a different smile altogether.  
This time seeing him smile makes Roxas so uncomfortable he has to walk away from him, the quicker the better.  
He doesn't even turn around to say hi. Or goodbye, for what matters.

  


*

  


Mum and Terra can't visit dad this week.  
They'll go once the baby's born, maybe even take Roxas with them, if Roxas still wants to go.  
Roxas does.

  


*

  


Riku is one of the most fascinating things Roxas has ever come into contact with.  
He's handsome, for one: his hair is soft and so blond it's almost silver, he's way too muscular to be just eighteen, and he's tall, has a kind smile, and Roxas can't honestly shake off the feeling he's a genuinely good person. He puts up with Sora on his free will, after all.  
He has nothing of the regular kid. Riku is on a league of his own.  
Hayner used to think Roxas had a crush on him, but Roxas has always been quick to deny. No way. Riku was just Sora's friend, and Roxas wasn't interested in him that way at all. Hayner teased him nonetheless.  
Now, when Roxas thinks about it, he can see it clearly: Kairi and Naminé are both his friends and Sora's, of course, but Riku is Sora's and Sora's only.  
Roxas has always known that well enough not to interfere.

  


*

  


Riku's gentle with Roxas, almost carefully so. He speaks so slowly to him it's like his words are purposefully meant to be private, and beautiful, and meaningful.  
"Do you remember" he asks Roxas one day, at lunch, while Sora's having detention, "living here? With both your parents, I mean, as a child".  
Roxas makes an effort and smiles at him. He's always so kind, and so pretty, and he's sitting with Roxas even if Sora isn't, like he is Roxas' friend too. "No, not really" Roxas tells him: "I don't remember much about my childhood".  
Riku's smile shouldn't be allowed. Illegal. Too good to be true. He sounds sad, when "me neither" he confesses.  
"You were adopted when you were really young" Roxas asks him, "right?".  
Riku only answers with a nod at first, but then he laughs a little, shakes his head as if he can't believe what he's about to say, and then "I only remember here, staying on the island, living with Minnie and Mickey" he tells Roxas: "it's like I've never been anywhere else. My first memory is about Sora, you know?". He watches Roxas' eyes getting sadder by the moment, but doesn't stop talking. He's getting at something. "Watching them building sandcastles from my window".  
Roxas knows what Riku's trying to say. So he doesn't say it, but he could as well; "my first memory is about Sora as well" he says instead.  
"I'm sorry" Riku murmurs, reaching for Roxas' hand. Roxas withdraws it.  
"Don't be" he says back: "everything is about Sora anyway".  
Maybe Riku speaks so slowly to Roxas because he doesn't want the entire school to think he's talking out loud to no one.

  


*

  


Roxas wasn't sad the day dad left.  
He was ready for school, on the phone with Pence while having breakfast, and dad said "I'll call in a couple of days. Drink water, buy grocery and wash your teeth. I'll be back in the blink of an eye". He had his suitcase by the front door. Roxas didn't even say goodbye.  
He kept eating his apple while listening to Pence talking about Olette's new shoes.  
Dad was always away after all. Only that was the time he didn't come back.

  


*

  


His last text says: _there's ice cream in the fridge you menace! careful with that bloody skate of yours x Dad_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading this! It's not done yet, see, but a few other chapters are in my PC and some others are currently stuck in my brain, so I'd expect some new stuff in a week or so.  
> I hope you enjoyed this! This is my first attempt at ficwriting for KH in my second language, so I apologize for any mistake! Please contact me either if you find something awfully written, or maybe to say hi, why not, I don't usually bite. I'm johnnymignotta on Tumblr. Bye! ♥


	2. What a surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the chapter that has actual **chikan** in it. If you don't know what that is, well, I didn't either X'D, then my sister read this and named names.  
>  Basically chikan is the japanese for **non consensual sexual intercourse in a train**. And that's what happens here. You've been warned.  
>  Also thanks to everyone who's reading this, and leaving kudos, and following me on Tumblr! Please tell me if anything is wrong, or confusing, or missing! Hope you're enjoying the story so far! ♥

_November Rain_ is playing and Roxas walks past that Axel along the shore. Nobody's home, so Roxas calls Hayner. There's no answer.

  


*

  


Xion is a pretty little thing, it seems. Sora brings news, dinner and Riku.  
They watch something extremely boring on TV and, when Roxas shows signs of wanting to get upstairs, Sora simply dismisses the idea, throws a pillow at him and keeps on playing with Riku's hair.  
There are a few awkward moments, to say the least: When Riku puts his arm around Sora's shoulders but gently pokes Roxas' cheek, for one; when Roxas is about to trip over the pizza boxes on the floor and Riku catches him; when Sora yawns, then Riku yawns and, when it's Roxas' turn to, he thinks about how would it feel to share something else instead of a yawn with them both.  
"When are they coming home?" Roxas asks when he's had too much of all this.  
"Around lunch" says Sora, now fully draped over Riku's knees.  
And Roxas wants out, desperately so, but Sora won't let him go. He keeps on finding silly excuses to make him stay, just a little longer, come on.  
They toast to baby Xion with orange juice and end up sleeping on the sofa.  
Riku leaves in a hurry past midnight and, once they're alone, Roxas can finally ask Sora: "what the hell was that?".  
"That what?". Sora is chewing on some pizza crust in the meanwhile. He looks sleepy.  
Roxas won't show mercy. "Don't play dumb, Sora" he hisses.  
The fucker huffs, puts the leftovers back into the box and "ok, yeah, guilty, sorry, you can go to sleep now" says, already moving away. Roxas won't let him, of course, so he holds him by the arm and stops him. Then looks at him dead in the eye. "Alright, you win" he tells Roxas: "I didn't want to be alone with Riku".  
And the best part is that he looks serious, see, but Roxas can't bring himself to believe him. "You make me lie to your parents" he points out "so you can be alone with him everyday".  
Sora's slightly blushing. What a sight. "That's what I'm saying" he states: "Me and Riku, we can't do this anymore, Roxas".  
"What?". Roxas doesn't get it.  
"You don't get it" Sora says, rightfully, then takes his pizza with him and goes upstairs.  
Roxas sleeps in a proper bed.

  


*

  


Granpa comes to say hi at noon. He has to get back in town, so he won't wait for mum and Terra to come home with the newborn in tow.  
He asks Roxas what are his plans for summer break. Roxas shrugs.  
"I know you miss Ven, kid, I miss him too". Sora is sleeping on the sofa, mouth wide open, even snoring a little; Roxas focuses on the noises he makes not to pay too much attention to Granpa's words. "But it doesn't mean you shouldn't live your life". He slaps Roxas' forehead playfully. "Go out more" is his advice, "buy new clothes, find yourself a pretty girlfriend".  
Granpa has always been his family. When Roxas was very young, and dad was far away, and mum had Sora already, Granpa used to cook for him, play with him, and bathe him before bed. Now it's like Granpa doesn't know him anymore, and that's the saddest thing.

  


*

  


It rains a little, so Roxas agrees to take the bus home with Sora and Riku. It's crowded inside, and Roxas ends up at the far end of the car. He can watch them interact anyway, although from a distance. He doesn't exactly mind. They seem to be acting the way they usually do, only Sora is blushing. Roxas feels like laughing for the very first time in a while.  
And then Axel, the stranger in leather, gets on the bus.  
He comes with a few other passengers, and suddenly the car is positively packed. Axel stands right behind Roxas, breathes in his hair, and Roxas can smell his scent of leather, smoke, his musky aftershave. It's both intoxicating and addictive, claustrophobic and sexy. Roxas tries to turn around and say hi, but the voice gets stuck in his throat and he can't move.  
Then Axel murmurs "hush" into Roxas' ear and circles his waist with both arms. Roxas can't even breathe.  
He's sure he wants to stop him, yell, hit him, but his body does neither of these things. It makes Roxas moan, instead, when that strange man puts both hands into his baggy trousers.  
What would everyone do, if Roxas screamed right now? Would they help him or stare at them in confusion? And would Roxas' scream mean pleasure or pain?  
Axel is touching him, and Roxas wants to cry, but he forces himself to keep his face straight. He's panting, oh my God, why is he panting? When was the last time Roxas touched himself? Or, rather, when was the last time someone touched him? He can feel Axel's body pressing against his back, and suddenly it's all gone. Being raped on a bus, Sora and Riku, baby Xion, Hayner's phone, even dad half dead in a bed. All gone.  
His underwear's all ruined. Axel pats him on the shoulder, hushes him again, and gets down at the next stop.  
Roxas can only think that it's still raining, so nobody will notice the mess he made of his clothes.

  


*

  
Roxas is lying in bed when Sora comes in without knocking. "Mum kicked me out of the kitchen". He spreads himself next to Roxas. "Xion's cute, isn't she? Smallest human being I've ever seen. She even has hair, like, isn't it insane?".  
"Sora" Roxas interrupts him, exhausted, "enough with the small talk. What do you want?".  
Sora shifts so he's facing Roxas' side of the bed. "Well" he stutters, "I've got something to tell you, but I can't figure out how to".  
"Just put together the sentence inside your head and" Roxas tells him, "when it makes sense, voice it".  
Sora laughs a little. "Quit it" he smiles, pretending to shove Roxas off his own bed. Then he blushes the way he does every time Riku's somehow involved, gets face down, puts a pillow over his head and says something apparently meaningless. He kind of meows maybe. Roxas doesn't even want to know.  
So he grabs the pillow, throws it at Sora and "spill it" encourages him.  
Sora just looks at him, bites his bottom lip and, almost breathless, "I think Riku might be in love with me" he says.  
Roxas just laughs. Then, noticing the look Sora has on his face, "of course he is" he indulges him, "he has always been".  
Sora seems sad all of a sudden. He waits a second, then hugs Roxas. Tightly. "I'm so scared" he says. Roxas is scared too. He doesn't want to be touched. He wants to be left alone.  
He hugs his brother anyway. "You'll figure it out" he tells him, as if he has no dubt on the matter.  
It's exactly what he wishes someone would say to him, too.  


*

  


He doesn't go to school the next day, pretends to feel sick, stays home and gets acquainted with his newborn sister.  
Mum tells him: "You look exactly like your father when you smile, sweetheart". Then she stops folding laundry for a moment, kisses Roxas on the cheek and "you should smile more" says.  
Roxas tries, and fails.


End file.
